OK...I'll go first.....

I feel sort of unqualified since I have probably had the least experience being a full time stay at home mom. There were defiantly some good things about working and it very much helped that I had some fabulous people watching my kids. (A big thank you again to all of you for helping us through that experience!) So anyway I will give you what little I have learned from the 2 1/2 years I have spent 24/7 with the kids.

I recentally read a really thought provoking book called "One Thousand White Women." The basic story is that a group of white women are given to the Cheyenne native American tribe to be brides for their warriors and teach them the way of civilized life. Needless to say it was not smooth sailing. One of the interesting tidbits that I took away from the book is that in the Cheyenne language there is no word for "happy," it doesn't exist. When the white women asked about the absence of the word the tribe replied that is something invented by the white man; they find purpose and meaning in everyday living and are not searching for what the women called "happiness." I have thought a lot about this because my main complaint about being a mother is that I don't feel "fulfilled." I am beginning to wonder if that sentiment is a product of our society and the idea that women can an should do it all, and do it all well at that. As we know this is impossible and does not fit with what the gospel teaches. I love the idea of seasons and the comfort that change brings in knowing that we will not be stuck in this relentless and exhausting piece of life where we are mothers to young children forever.

So in more direct response to Jenni's question there are three things that help me survive and even enjoy motherhood and inspire me.

Number 1--- hobbies, not just in theory, but actually doing them. For me in this particular time in my life it is teaching exercise classes especially Zumba. It gives me something to look forward to, something to think about and plan for that is not related to my children. After every child I think I have gone through a period of reinventing myself. Maybe the hobbies that used to really inspire and relax you don't anymore. I think it is very healthy to branch out and try something new. I decided to try my hand at watercolor this past spring, I am still horrible at it:), but I am enjoying it and thinking about projects that I am excited about help me get the housework done faster and with less resentment.

Number 2-- planning ahead to make the boring and repetitive tasks of everyday life easier. For me that includes planning meals in advance so that I can simply put them together instead of trying at 5:00 to figure out what to make. I try to do the same thing with making a schedule with cleaning and now I also give Weston chores everyday which is nice because I don't feel like I'm the only person in the house who picks up the broom. There is something so satisfying about feeling like I have done a good job at my "job" at the end of the day, as opposed to the days where I am in survival mode and wonder what I accomplished.

Number 3--look for one "golden" moment with each child everyday. Kyle is gone long hours and often days at a time right now, I'll be honest it is really hard to be patient and loving all time or even half the time.:) So I have started to watch for one moment with each child every day where we connected or where I was able to teach them something, or they teach me something and really notice it for the gift that it is. That's what motherhood is to me a lot of hard stuff and occasionally something that is far better than this world, where we are given a glimpse of what is to come. I tell Kyle about my "moments" with the kids everyday along with all the tales of the horrors I survived with them.

I once heard that a friend is someone who is there to witness our lives so that we can feel justified in being, because we know someone will be there to see it. I feel so blessed to be a witness of all your lives, you are all amazing and inspiring women who are engaged in the most difficult and thankless job on earth!
I am looking forward to hearing what each of you have to say because I need it!

Becki