I Want You All To Come To Prague With Me....

The minute I saw this store, I thought "where are all my Glen Court girls right now?"

Please come to Prague with me so we can go shoe shopping.

It says:

Be Surprised By 7 Floors Of Shoes!

Free/Discounted Stuff

You guys should check out these websites. I have found lots of good stuff. Maybe you already knew about them, but on this one, I signed up at Babies R Us and I will be getting a free &25 Gift Card, I just have to spend $50.  This is the first time I have seen this site, so I don't know how good it is, but if someone else can watch the deals for me, I am all for that.

Freebies4Mom

I have been watching this one for about a week and I got a really good deal on shoes at Payless, free makeup, and lots of good coupons.  I know she is based in Utah and so a lot of the deals are from Utah, but yeah for on-line shopping.  Check it out:

Freebies2deals

bags

Hey folks, this is just a little plug for my sister-in-law's etsy shop. She makes really great bags and things, and she is doing this boutique this week so you can get 20% off anything in her shop.I think you just have to mention ucreate in the checkout box. Anyway there are a couple other cute shops with discounts too, hers is skye-o.

Better Take a Turn

Hi Ladies!
I have been thinking about this since Jenni first sent it out. And let me tell you I get a little nervous hearing how hard is has been for all of you to leave Glen Courts. That doesn't mean I want to stay longer than needful but I can see it will be a major life changing event. I'm glad you could all brave the way before me and perhaps you'll have some good advice when my turn comes. I feel intimidated offering you all advice but I've appreciated all of yours so I should donate something to the cause so here goes...(keep in mind I'm terrible at writing so I made this as simple as possible)

In answer to Jenni's questions:

What makes being a stay-at-home mom hard for you?
Being needed 24/7 by my kids! That there well being physically, mentally, spiritually, etc. is dependent on me being able to care for them. If that's not overwhelming I don't know what is!


What makes it worth it to you?
Pretty much what everyone else has said...the small moments. When I get to talk to Emma about the gospel or when we all sit around the table at lunch time and laugh about something. The spirit often touches me at these times and reminds me that if I worked these moments would not have happened and that my life and my kids lives are better because of these moments.

What gives you daily satisfaction?
The small moments but also I think spiritually is soooooo important as I know you all know. I've often noticed that after a hard day I am much more rejuvenated if I sit and read my scriptures for ten minutes rather than run to the mall "to relax" and drown my sorrows in shopping! I feel satisified at the end of a day if I feel at peace at the end of the day. At the end of a day I sooo much want to just do whatever I want to do. But I've found if I take a couple minutes for spiritual things I feel so much peace and no matter how hard the day was I go to bed feeling okay.

Where does your inspiration come from?
I guess for me my inspiration to stay home and raise children comes from the knowledge that I know what I am doing is right. That's what it boils down to for me. I have a friend back in UT who has a passion for this topic and has done some serious research on it. Here are some of her words:

Mindy Thornley

In all my experience of teaching youth (four years of EFY, two years of Seminary) I have learned a very profound truth. God will always take care of His children. If I am faithful, obedient, and rely on Him and His atonement, He will not allow my weaknesses or inadequacies interfere with taking care of His children. I experienced this countless times in the settings I have been in with His children. I cannot even begin to comprehend how much more He is able to offer His children's earthly mothers.

I cannot even begin to fathom the blessings that will come in the life to come when mothers approach our loving Heavenly Father, having played a vital role in returning His children to Him. What feeling can compare with that even in the most successful career?

A career generally will have the opportunities to bring about the praise of man and the world, while many mock the idea of staying at home. But remember, motherhood brings about the praise and glory of God.
Then she gives this quote:

“[The] ability and willingness properly to rear children, the gift to love, and eagerness … to express it in soul development, make motherhood the noblest office or calling in the world. She who can paint a masterpiece or write a book that will influence millions deserves the admiration and the plaudits of mankind; but she who rears successfully a family of healthy, beautiful sons and daughters, whose influence will be felt through generations to come, … deserves the highest honor that man can give, and the choicest blessings of God,” (David O. McKay, Gospel Ideals [1954], 453–54).

Thanks for all of your advice!
Amber

My rambling thoughts...

First of all, it has been absolutely therapeutic for me to read all of your posts and comments on this subject. Doesn't it feel good to know we're not alone? And not only am I not alone, but I am surrounded by amazing women who are such tremendous examples that give me hope and comfort. Thank YOU for that. You all inspire me!
I'm grateful to Jenni for bringing this topic 'to the table' because I have been struggling with life in general lately. And since 'my life' is being a mother, this topic absolutely applies. Life has taken a turn-I don't want to say for the worse, but let's just say the last four years of vacation are over! Life is completely different; trying to get comfortable in a new city, a new ward, a new schedule for Jeff which means I rarely see him, and getting used to the idea of a new baby joining us in March-(Surprise!) Add to that, two young children who lately seem to suck the energy and patience and anything else good right out of me, you've got my life in a nut shell.
So no, I don't always enjoy my role as mother and homemaker. And I'm often not very good at it. Which often leads to feelings of guilt and sadness. But, it would be impossible to expect happiness, perfection and ease in EVERY aspect of mothering, right? So, how do I stay on middle ground?
A few things help me. Like Abby said, keeping an eternal perspective is key. I have often thought, 'won't it be nice when I don't have to (fill in the blank) because my kids will be older and more self-sufficient and less needy, etc, etc?' But when I think that, I'm often reminded of what Elder Ballard said in his conference talk a couple years ago. He reminded us young mothers that our children will need us the way they need us now for a small fraction of our lifetime and theirs. That hit home. When I'm cuddling with either of my boys and I think of the day when neither will want to hug me at all, my heart relishes and basks in that moment when they're in my arms because I know the day will come soon enough when my kids won't need me anymore the way they do now. On the other hand, keeping an eternal perspective helps me get through the hard moments. Like Mandie said, 'This too shall pass.' I won't always have a tantrum-throwing two-year old. So, an eternal perspective helps me to get through the rough days as well as really enjoy and actually look for and make time for the 'golden moments' that are fleeting. And Abby, I LOVE how you said, we chose this! That's such a wake-up call for me! This is what I chose, knowing full-well it wouldn't be easy and that is absolutely why it is worth it!
Like Becki and Shalet, planning ahead and making an effort to stay organized really eliminates a lot of stress and grudges that go into the 'taking care of business' part of being a mom. I'm a total hypocrite as I write this-I haven't gotten on the ball since arriving in Minnesota but I'll blame the pregnancy for now. Anyway, in the past I have made efforts to plan a weekly menu and stay on top of my errands and cleaning and I found that it made more time for 'golden moments' like reading with or playing with the boys because I'm not stressing about all the millions of things I had to get done. And like Becki said, it makes me feel like I'm good at my 'job'.
Of course, making time for myself, is also key to a mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically-well-balanced mother of our home. This could be a full-time job in and of itself so no wonder I'm a wreck lately! But, seriously, I've learned over the years that it doesn't require much and like Shalet mentioned, the Lord makes up for what I'm lacking. Having a mini devotional in the morning (which sadly doesn't happen every morning) by myself with prayer and scripture study really makes such a difference in my day. The Lord gives me the strength to deal with anything when I make time for Him. Exercise, reading, and listening to music are also great things that rejuvenate me and I've found that they are definitely do-able with young children. What I mean is that like Larissa said, when we're mom's we're kind of left out of doing anything we want like snowboarding because we're pregnant or because we can't afford it or because we simply are mom's and have the responsibility of caring for our kids. So, maybe in another season of life the time I make for myself will be more extravagant and time-consuming. Wow, that sounded selfish and wonderful at the same time! But for now, these suffice and I can truly say I LOVE doing them. (I also love the comment about parenting and dessert going hand-in-hand. Indulging in a little dessert after the kids go to sleep can be therapeutic for me!)
Okay, one more thing, for now. I have realized that when I am looking forward to something that is exciting I can get through the drudgery easier. And I'm not talking about looking forward to being done with residency or when my kids are older or when we'll be debt-free, etc, etc. I'm talking about short-term things. Like looking forward to organizing that closet (which I know, doesn't appeal to everyone) or trying a new recipe or rearranging the furniture or decorating a newly cleared space. I'm talking little things. But I have realized that I really thrive on being able to look forward to social interactions like play-dates and outings with friends and having company for dinner. Being social really helps me enjoy the in's and out's of day-to-day life. It feels good to have friends that love, understand, and encourage you in your daily battles and triumphs. Which leads me to a question for all of you: Do you feel we were totally spoiled at Glen Courts? I know some of you still live there, but I've been noticing how much more effort it takes to be social in a new place since moving here. And for those who have lived outside of GC for longer does it get easier? For instance, I don't run into anyone while I'm taking out my trash, carrying in the groceries, or just getting fresh air. Therefore, I can't just casually ask so-and-so if they want to step across the hall and have dinner with us. So that means if I want to see people, I truly have to make an effort. Like call someone on the phone and compare our calendars. I remember Ashley Johnson at a book club once mentioned that she would see a young mom pushing a stroller past her house and she thought, 'I wonder where she lives! Should I go talk to her? Maybe we could be friends!' It was meant to be a funny story and it was but I didn't understand how she felt until I moved into a home of my own in a neighborhood where little kids walk by with their moms and I wonder, 'Maybe they live close! I should run out and say hi. Maybe we could be friends.' It's just a whole new world. Now, of course we all made great friends from WI that never lived at GC but it sure made things easier when we all were brand-spanking new, don't you think? I know none of us are meant to be in that situation for life but I think I got used to a few conveniences while I was there and it's been a transition leaving that.
Anyway, now I'm totally off-subject and really rambling. You guys are all fantastic and I'm so grateful for all of you! I think you are all wonderful mothers and you have each been a great example to me in some way. And I want you all to know that I have a testimony of what we're all doing every single day as mothers and that there's nothing better or more worthwhile than raising our children. Love and miss you all!

My Choices Everyday

A couple weeks ago I was having a really hard time being the mother of my toddler. He was being so feisty, ornery and crying, crying, crying over everything. I thought I might loose it. So one night after a week of this I got on my knees and told the Lord that I was not getting up until He told me how to fix my child. I wanted to know what was wrong with him. About 15 minutes later my answers came. First of all I was to study the scriptures more. I thought about the quote from Elder Packer, “True doctrine understood changes attitudes and behavior. The study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than the study of behavior will improve behavior”. So by studying patience, charity, service, parenting, motherhood, families, children, etc. etc. I will ultimately change me and hopefully the atmosphere in our abode. My second answer: I was to spend more time on my knees. And be a bit more personal while I’m at it. And lastly, I needed to spend quality individual time with each child. So I sing to Nolan and snuggle him tight every time I put him down to sleep. Lucas gets to go outside and swing with just me after the other two are fast asleep as he takes a nap; he can’t wear shoes so I can hold him and have him close to me. And with Dax, he’s at the perfect age for games so we play while the other two are asleep. These are some of my “golden moments”. This to me is satisfying. This to me makes it all worth it. I love this quote from NieNie Dialogues "These are the moments in my life when I feel like my spirit is tapping my heart to remind my just why I still morally exist".

There are days where I really really struggle but encouragement comes from a vast amount of sources. The most recent: my sister-in-law decided back in May that she wanted to “live life” she felt she was “missing out” that she’d “never had a chance to have fun”. So she fell in love with my brothers’ good friend and left him and their 4 children in her “search for happiness”. She actually said that her “kids would be fine and they’ll get over it”. While we were home visiting family these last two weeks I got to spend a lot of time with my brothers kids as my parents are now taking care of them because my brother hasn’t been emotionally and mentally capable of doing so (so my mom is now raising 8 kids). Of the 4 kids one is a 9 year old girl. For a week there wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t see her swell up in tears. Sometime life isn’t fair, sometimes it’s really hard and sometimes you get kicked when you’re down but I realized that these kids will in fact be fine. Don’t get me wrong I definitely believe that the last thing the Lord wanted was for a family to separate, but we have our agency, my sister-in-law had her agency and she chose to leave so now somehow the Lord will make up for it and they'll be fine. Although I believe they will never quite get over it. Sometimes I think I am never going to make it through this day (especially when I was pregnant …. I think that may be ½ the problem, Jenny, oh, just wait until you have the little one in your arms, you just might feel like a new person) but somehow, after a night sleep and a prayer I am fine and I get over it. I choose to be a mother and somehow the Lord will make up for all the hard times and make it worth it. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere than where I am right now in my life. Time is so fleeting. I could honestly have little kids forever and am just hoping that their next stages in life are as fulfilling to me are they are now. My niece told me one night through her tears that her dad said that they “have to be strong”. I tell myself that same thing when the going gets tough and I am not enjoying this mothering thing. I have to be strong.

With everyday satisfaction I've just had to determine what makes me happy. For me it starts with a clean house. I do my deep cleaning every Monday so it’s out of the way and then just pick up the rest of the week. Next, I too need a little exercise. Always have, always will. Most days that’s about all I do for myself. Other necessities most of the time include: reading to my kids, having something ready for dinner, going over a gospel art picture with my kids or reading the friend and talking about it (they aren’t going to get any of this at school one day and I just want to know that I tried my best), I try to do a few things that I know will bring smiles (hot chocolate chips cookies are a sure hit), outside time (I think this plays a huge role in the happiness in our home) and trying to be happy and positive and give lots of hugs. Some days it’s not easy and others it is absolutely no fun but I have to be strong and I know everything will be fine and it’ll be worth it. THIS too is what I choose.

Thanks for all of your examples as mothers and your friendship. You're all so wonderful!!!

Feels good to ramble a bit

Okay, I told you I have been thinking about this for a long time, especially with all the pressure I feel to go back to work (is that a Utah thing?) When I really sit and think about it, I stay home for selfish reasons. I don’t want to miss anything. My mom worked growing up and although I was fine with it, I remember seeing her cry over a missed Halloween part or a missed book report. I thought that was silly at the time, but now that I am a mom, I don’t want to miss those things. I want to be there to take pictures so my kids will remember what they were like as a kid, the good parts and the bad parts so they will know a little better what parenting is really like. I also want to be there when they need me. They won’t need me forever and so I have to get it while I can. I asked John’s mom why it was important for mothers to stay home and she said that there is just something special about coming home with someone waiting for you, rather than coming home to a cold, empty house. That kind of hit me because our homes are supposed to be the safe haven from the world and I want my kids to feel that, especially in these scary times. Just today, I was watching Sydney get on the bus and a few of the kids were cussing like nothing I have hear in a long time. I knew they wouldn’t listen to me if I told them to stop talking that way and they may have even started to pick on Sydney in the bus, they were just mean boys. Anyway, my hope is that I can teach enough good in the home to counteract all of the crap my kids are going to see in the world. But of course it is really hard to stay home! So this is how I cope:

1. I read your blogs. It helps me remember that I am not the only one struggling. Also, I love to read about the cute and fun things you do with your kids and I love to see your kids! It also helps give me ideas of things to do with my kids. (Jenni, muffin tin lunch has been a big hit!)

2. Date night. I realize I have a harder time when John and I don’t get quality time together. As we all know, we need a little more that 3 year old conversations.

3. Exercise. Okay, I am not great at this one, but I can control my anger better when I am exercising and that is just good for everyone in the house.

4. If things are going crazy and I can tell it is because the kids are bored, I sit and read them a few books. There is something magical about sitting with your kids on your lap and reading them a story.

5. If all else fails (which is does more than I like to admit), after the kids go to bed, John and I cook up some nice warm, chocolate chip cookies, sit on our butts, and watch a movie or TV show (I recommend Chuck for all those who want a laugh!)

By the way, I think I am going to print out everyone’s response and read it quite often. Thanks again Jenni for starting this discussion.

Mandie