My rambling thoughts...

First of all, it has been absolutely therapeutic for me to read all of your posts and comments on this subject. Doesn't it feel good to know we're not alone? And not only am I not alone, but I am surrounded by amazing women who are such tremendous examples that give me hope and comfort. Thank YOU for that. You all inspire me!
I'm grateful to Jenni for bringing this topic 'to the table' because I have been struggling with life in general lately. And since 'my life' is being a mother, this topic absolutely applies. Life has taken a turn-I don't want to say for the worse, but let's just say the last four years of vacation are over! Life is completely different; trying to get comfortable in a new city, a new ward, a new schedule for Jeff which means I rarely see him, and getting used to the idea of a new baby joining us in March-(Surprise!) Add to that, two young children who lately seem to suck the energy and patience and anything else good right out of me, you've got my life in a nut shell.
So no, I don't always enjoy my role as mother and homemaker. And I'm often not very good at it. Which often leads to feelings of guilt and sadness. But, it would be impossible to expect happiness, perfection and ease in EVERY aspect of mothering, right? So, how do I stay on middle ground?
A few things help me. Like Abby said, keeping an eternal perspective is key. I have often thought, 'won't it be nice when I don't have to (fill in the blank) because my kids will be older and more self-sufficient and less needy, etc, etc?' But when I think that, I'm often reminded of what Elder Ballard said in his conference talk a couple years ago. He reminded us young mothers that our children will need us the way they need us now for a small fraction of our lifetime and theirs. That hit home. When I'm cuddling with either of my boys and I think of the day when neither will want to hug me at all, my heart relishes and basks in that moment when they're in my arms because I know the day will come soon enough when my kids won't need me anymore the way they do now. On the other hand, keeping an eternal perspective helps me get through the hard moments. Like Mandie said, 'This too shall pass.' I won't always have a tantrum-throwing two-year old. So, an eternal perspective helps me to get through the rough days as well as really enjoy and actually look for and make time for the 'golden moments' that are fleeting. And Abby, I LOVE how you said, we chose this! That's such a wake-up call for me! This is what I chose, knowing full-well it wouldn't be easy and that is absolutely why it is worth it!
Like Becki and Shalet, planning ahead and making an effort to stay organized really eliminates a lot of stress and grudges that go into the 'taking care of business' part of being a mom. I'm a total hypocrite as I write this-I haven't gotten on the ball since arriving in Minnesota but I'll blame the pregnancy for now. Anyway, in the past I have made efforts to plan a weekly menu and stay on top of my errands and cleaning and I found that it made more time for 'golden moments' like reading with or playing with the boys because I'm not stressing about all the millions of things I had to get done. And like Becki said, it makes me feel like I'm good at my 'job'.
Of course, making time for myself, is also key to a mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically-well-balanced mother of our home. This could be a full-time job in and of itself so no wonder I'm a wreck lately! But, seriously, I've learned over the years that it doesn't require much and like Shalet mentioned, the Lord makes up for what I'm lacking. Having a mini devotional in the morning (which sadly doesn't happen every morning) by myself with prayer and scripture study really makes such a difference in my day. The Lord gives me the strength to deal with anything when I make time for Him. Exercise, reading, and listening to music are also great things that rejuvenate me and I've found that they are definitely do-able with young children. What I mean is that like Larissa said, when we're mom's we're kind of left out of doing anything we want like snowboarding because we're pregnant or because we can't afford it or because we simply are mom's and have the responsibility of caring for our kids. So, maybe in another season of life the time I make for myself will be more extravagant and time-consuming. Wow, that sounded selfish and wonderful at the same time! But for now, these suffice and I can truly say I LOVE doing them. (I also love the comment about parenting and dessert going hand-in-hand. Indulging in a little dessert after the kids go to sleep can be therapeutic for me!)
Okay, one more thing, for now. I have realized that when I am looking forward to something that is exciting I can get through the drudgery easier. And I'm not talking about looking forward to being done with residency or when my kids are older or when we'll be debt-free, etc, etc. I'm talking about short-term things. Like looking forward to organizing that closet (which I know, doesn't appeal to everyone) or trying a new recipe or rearranging the furniture or decorating a newly cleared space. I'm talking little things. But I have realized that I really thrive on being able to look forward to social interactions like play-dates and outings with friends and having company for dinner. Being social really helps me enjoy the in's and out's of day-to-day life. It feels good to have friends that love, understand, and encourage you in your daily battles and triumphs. Which leads me to a question for all of you: Do you feel we were totally spoiled at Glen Courts? I know some of you still live there, but I've been noticing how much more effort it takes to be social in a new place since moving here. And for those who have lived outside of GC for longer does it get easier? For instance, I don't run into anyone while I'm taking out my trash, carrying in the groceries, or just getting fresh air. Therefore, I can't just casually ask so-and-so if they want to step across the hall and have dinner with us. So that means if I want to see people, I truly have to make an effort. Like call someone on the phone and compare our calendars. I remember Ashley Johnson at a book club once mentioned that she would see a young mom pushing a stroller past her house and she thought, 'I wonder where she lives! Should I go talk to her? Maybe we could be friends!' It was meant to be a funny story and it was but I didn't understand how she felt until I moved into a home of my own in a neighborhood where little kids walk by with their moms and I wonder, 'Maybe they live close! I should run out and say hi. Maybe we could be friends.' It's just a whole new world. Now, of course we all made great friends from WI that never lived at GC but it sure made things easier when we all were brand-spanking new, don't you think? I know none of us are meant to be in that situation for life but I think I got used to a few conveniences while I was there and it's been a transition leaving that.
Anyway, now I'm totally off-subject and really rambling. You guys are all fantastic and I'm so grateful for all of you! I think you are all wonderful mothers and you have each been a great example to me in some way. And I want you all to know that I have a testimony of what we're all doing every single day as mothers and that there's nothing better or more worthwhile than raising our children. Love and miss you all!